As I go through each day, attend church, reflect on my own devotion to Christ, and observe the testimonies of others, it is obvious that we do not all have the same attitude in our journey through life. There are obviously those that aren't trying in the slightest and really don't believe or don't care. But even within the believers, I notice that there are categories of different attitudes. The most apparent group consists of those that confidently strive to live the gospel and draw closer to their Father in Heaven. But there are two groups other than those, both of which are more subtle and not so easily identified.
One of these groups are those that are always trying to live the gospel, but always fall short. They question their conversion, which in turn questions their testimony. They do not easily feel the assurance from their Father in Heaven that they are on the right path; they scramble, trying to find their way to the light (which they fail to realize they already bask in). This set tends to grow without realizing it.
The second group is found on the other extreme. They put in little effort to live the gospel, feeling quite overly confident that they are acceptable to God. They do not need God's assurance (nor will they receive it), because they are already set on the idea that they are fine where they are at. This set fails to grow without realizing it.
I feel that I have been in each of these categories at different points in my life. Sometimes I neglect to progress, feeling comfortable with where I am; sometimes I scramble wherever I can, trying to find out why I am not living up to God's standards or what I am failing to do; and finally there are times where I clearly recognize that, while I still have much to fix, I am well on my way.
Sometimes our feelings lie to us, as is apparent in two of the three situations. Sometimes we may feel good, when we're not, and sometimes we may feel wicked, when we're not. To resolve this and gain a clear idea of where we stand in our devotion to God, I find questions such as these to help me out:
How would I describe my personal relationship with God? Do I strive to draw closer to Him?
What do my prayers mean to me?
What do the scriptures mean to me?
Am I consciously striving to develop Christlike attributes?
How do I feel towards my Savior? What has He done for me?
Do I seek the Spirit? How am I influenced by Him?
Do I attempt to magnify my calls to serve?
Do I strive to serve and be concerned for those around me (not just friends)?
What are my greatest desires?
Is God a permeating subject on my mind, or only someone I think of occasionally or when in need?
There are many more questions, but I feel this is a good start. Notice that these do not ask about position in congregations or focus on outward acts, for while it may be meaningful, these are not truly indicative of conversion; this may be the product of "social conversion" or other substitutes. In addition, not all of us will be "prominent", but God can be accessed by anyone, regardless of status.
For those of you trying so hard but feeling inadequate, consider your efforts to follow Christ. Realize that God is pleased with your heartfelt desire, even if your actions (appear to) fall short. As you see that you are trying to pray, trying to reach God, trying to love your neighbor, give yourself a break! Be kinder to yourself; give yourself more credit, for God loves the earnest soul that you have.
For those that are complacent, consider your answers to the questions as a gentle call to repentance. We all need to continuously practice the gospel, for perfection is our goal, and none will reach it in this life, so we must try as hard as we can to reach it. Besides, if we are not actively living the gospel, are we truly converted?
I pray that you consider the significance of your answers and adjust appropriately. God is ever-patient, and Christ will endow us with the needed strength to live as He would have us live.
God bless y'all!
Patrick
I was secretly hoping that you would post something like this. :) Just reading your thoughts shows me that your heart is in the right place, and helps me to realize that mine truly is as well. I am in a much better situation now, struggling each day to pray sincerely and to study the scriptures, that I was a year ago, praying with limited sincerity and reading the scriptures just because I wanted to prove that I was spiritual. Having even the smallest desire is still having desire at all. I have to remind myself over and over that even Prophets and Apostles have questioned their faith. But that does not mean that they didn't believe in the Gospel of Christ. Faith is that small bit of trust that everything is in the Lord's hands, and will work out for our good according to His will and our willingness. It helps me to realize that having a bit of a spiritual check every once-in-a-while is actually a good way to strengthen my testimony. Blind compliance is not the Lord's way, but faithful obedience is.
ReplyDeleteThere I am, rambling again. I hope that made some sense. Thank you for sharing this. :)