Well, since my last post was about men, I think now here is one for the ladies, particularly the LDS young women affected by the recent announcement on missionary work.
To give my thoughts on the matter, I want to talk a little bit about my mission. I served in the Alabama Birmingham Mission, which covered most of Alabama, a nice size of Mississippi, and small chunks of Tennessee and Georgia. I served there for 2 years, the traditional amount for men.
I had always wanted to. While at times I questioned my ability to serve, I never questioned my desire to serve. I was extremely introverted at the time I left, and missionary service is about the most social thing you are going to do for 2 years.
I started in the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Provo, Utah. I had a good time there, but it was rough. I had some feelings of homesickness, but my trials were light in comparison to others; some did not even leave the MTC. They were not yet prepared for the rigorous schedule that the mission would demand, nor were they ready to leave their family and friends. But for those of us that managed to stay, the MTC was a powerful spiritual experience as I learned the basic tools of missionary work alongside now-lifelong friends who were brand new and nervous, just as I was.
I eventually left the MTC and went to Alabama. I was so nervous! But God blessed me with a wonderful trainer. He was hard-working and knew how to have fun (the fun part, I didn't like at first, but I eventually learned to see the necessity of that). He loved the people. We went to Ripley, Mississippi, and it was a pretty small town. Many days we had no appointments, and I challenged my self-worth, blaming myself and feeling as though I was letting God down. But in the course of those 4 months, I grew to love the people, in particular a few special souls. There were many disappointments, but there were also great moments of joy.
Eventually, I left my trainer and teamed up with a new companion. He was likewise diligent, as would be all my companions. But in each area there were unique challenges I did not foresee. In a few areas, there were a number of weeks my companion and I only taught lessons in the single-digits. But perhaps at those times I grew the closest to God, recognizing His hand in my life.
I feel that was the greatest blessing I received personally from serving Him; the relationship I now enjoy with Him. It took the whole 2 years, but over those years I learned to have faith in Him like I never imagined before. Before my mission, I learned to believe the gospel; during and after, I learned to live the gospel. With each challenge and each trial, I asked myself hard questions about my conduct, my character, and God's character. I asked God often why things happened the way they did, but as I patiently served and followed His will, the answers came. This has set a foundation for the rest of my life; before, my life was secular with religious influences, but now it is religious with secular influences. All of my decisions, whether it be about school, work, etc., are now viewed through the lens of the gospel.
Many times, there would be disappointments, such as appointments falling through, days where nobody answers the door, or the worst, candidates for baptism turn away from the truth, for one reason or another. But with each disappointment, I began to realize the intricate details of God's plan not just for me, but for all of His children. Sometimes I wondered, "What is this man's purpose in life? He lives in the middle of nowhere, with no obvious goal in life!" But eventually I began to see that God loves all His children and is preparing each one in their individual way to return to live with Him. And let me tell you, there is nothing more beautiful than seeing a child of God enter the waters of baptism; nothing could replace that joy! To see God's children come from the obscurity of the world and into the light of the gospel; what a glorious thing!
My mission was a wonderful experience, and I would not trade it for the world. However, it is my discoveries in the months afterward that I want to make my point in. I have been home for about 4 months, and I now am fairly "insignificant," if you will, in the LDS Church. While I am an active member, I am no longer the go-to guy, I am no longer known by everyone and looked to by everyone. I no longer preach the gospel, at least not in the same way. I no longer wear the name of the Church on my shirt. I am not Elder anymore; I am just Patrick.
Given this change in my purpose, it has been and still is to an extent a rough transition. I remember the first day I woke up in my bed; I thought, "Now what do I do?" I literally saw no purpose in my day anymore. Anything I did seemed so inconsequential.
But this is not what the Lord would have us feel. The mission is a very short period of time, ranging from 6 months to 3 years. If missions were the only valuable way to serve God, then He would have us serve lifelong missions! But if we are not full-time missionaries, what are we to do now?
I decided to look at my patriarchal blessing for help. For those that do not know, a patriarchal blessing is a blessing given by a servant of God that is more-or-less straight from our Father in Heaven. In it, it describes our identity and several purposes we may have in our life. What are some of mine that I have now returned? It explicitly states that I am to get married, go to college, have children, research my ancestry, and spend much of my life in the temple. These are all as much a part of God's plan as anything else we do, including missionary work. I feel like, in our righteous desire to promote the excellence of missionary work, we sometimes belittle the other ways to serve our Father in Heaven. I feel this is happening now.
I have observed most of this on Facebook. Silly pictures of empty BYU freshmen classes, new internet "memes", 20 billion announcements that so-and-so is dropping everything they are doing to go serve right now; I am grateful for the zeal and excitement I see, for it was a policy from God that men start serving at 18 and women at 19. But I am also a little worried.
My mission was beautiful. It can be likened to having a child; it is the best thing I have done to date. But, it is also something I would not thrust on others lightly.
First, the mission was not an easy experience. It may have been the most beautiful 2 years, but it was also the ugliest. It was hard beyond belief! I had never done anything so difficult, and I imagine I won't do anything that difficult for a long time! Ok, maybe raising children, but that's it! The mission will bring a multitude of blessings, and God will help you, but do not think that it will be eternal bliss from day 1 to day 735 (or whatever it is for the women). While the good definitely out-shined the bad, the bad outnumbered the good.
Second, I am worried that with all the shouts of service, there are those that may be pressured into doing it. I know of a couple girls that have no intention of serving but feel demeaned or of lower worth because they are not serving. But as I stated before, there are numerous ways to serve God. The church is composed of 14 million members, and the world has 6 billion people; there is a lot to be done, and not everyone can be a missionary. All men need to, yes, for it is their duty; but as a gentle reminder, it is not a duty for the woman, but a righteous opportunity. If you choose not to serve, excellent! The church needs Relief Society Presidents, Pianists, Choir Directors, Sunday School Teachers, Primary Presidencies, and all the other wonderful positions our blessed sisters serve. Am I also forgetting something? Oh wait, yes I am... some need to get married and start having children! The family is the most important thing in God's eyes, above any other kind of service.
I do not wish to discourage you from missionary service if it is something God truly desires. Again, I know a few young women whom I am confident will be excellent missionaries. They are meant to serve in this capacity. I am sorry I am so passionate in this subject, but I feel a danger in having so many go when they might not have taken ample consideration and prayer. And I do not recall where I read or heard this, but the shock you received on the announcement does not immediately mark a call to serve. I was shocked, but I am certainly not going back out!
In conclusion, to the LDS girls that already knew that they would eventually serve missions, congratulations. I love my mission; I think about it multiple times per day. It was the best 2 years of my life to this point. You will be a tool for God in touching the lives of others. You can have no greater Employer.
To the LDS girls that have chosen to fulfill other missions, especially if you feel bad for not serving, God loves you, and I admire you. I will be honest, I admire the strength the girls and women have in the Church; I have always said (perhaps presumptuously) that the women are more righteous than the men. You fulfill wonderful roles I could not dream of fulfilling to the same extent. I am particularly envious of your care for children and compassion to your fellow human beings. It is a goal for me to grow closer to the level of dedication I observe in you. God bless you! You have a Father that smiles brightly on you.
To the LDS girls that are not so sure or may have been caught up in the emotion of the event, I humbly beg that you pray and ask God. He will lead you in the path that you should go. As stated before, God has a plan for you, which may or may not include a mission. Either way, He has great things in store, and who can deny this? You are His daughter. You are royalty. You will receive the help you need.
I am grateful for the knowledge that God does lead His Church and His people on the Earth today. I am thankful for the conviction I have that God has truly chosen His prophets and apostles to give us inspired messages and counsel in a world riddled with sin. I know that the words spoken this weekend are true. I enjoy the Spirit in my life, and I know the same blessing is available to all that live righteously, regardless how "big" or how "small" your role in life is. God's plan is glorious, and I love pondering what great things He has in store for each of us. One day, I will shout in tears to my God that we are all able to return to His presence to receive a fulness of joy with those that we love... forever.
God bless you all. Whatever your position or decision, I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide you in your path.
Patrick
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