What will it be like...?

Tonight, the day after Thanksgiving, I had the special privilege of helping at a Christmas event with a live cast for the town of Bethlehem. I played as a Roman soldier in Caesar's court, collecting "taxes" (food donations) and making a "census" (guest list). I enjoyed my evening, but the highlight was at the end of the night.

We all left our posts as the evening drew to an end. Eventually, we ended in the Nativity. We sang songs, commemorating different scenes in the Christmas story (the shepherds, the Wise Men, etc.). But, at the end, the entire cast went and knelt before the Christ Child as "O Come, All Ye Faithful", was sung.

I had never done this before. As I knelt, I felt a rush of emotion. Christ's glory shone brighter in my heart than it had for a long time. I wondered what it would've been like to have knelt before the Holy Babe that Christmas night.

I continued, and I began a new question. "What will it be like, when I have passed through this mortal life, to finally kneel before my Savior?" I can't describe how I felt; it was as if everything was perfect, everything was whole, everything was holy... even if only for that one moment. Ignore the troubles in the world; forget the trials and tribulations; Jesus was born, and He had won!

I am looking forward to this holiday season. I anticipate more than any other season I have experienced, especially concerning my understanding of Christ.

God bless y'all!
Patrick

Happy Thanksgiving!

Earlier this month I was doing daily posts on Facebook describing what I'm thankful for. But, since I resolved to use the Internet less often, that practice discontinued. So for today, I will try to make a good-sized list of what I'm grateful for.

I'm grateful for my Father in Heaven, who has done so much beyond my comprehension for me. To name a few, He put me on this earth to learn, grow, and enjoy the life He enjoys; to have a fullness of joy. He provides me with daily instruction, guidance and love. My life would be meaningless without Him.

I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. It is through His sacrifice that I can overcome my weaknesses and fulfill the design God has in store for me. I lean on Him, I rely on Him, He is my strength and my all.

I am thankful for the Holy Spirit, who provides the guidance God promises. I would be ever lost and ever confused without the inspiration He so generously bestows!

I am thankful for my parents. They are so good to me. I would literally not be here today without them! They provide so much love, support, and guidance. They even homeschooled me too, so I owe them my education in academic and spiritual matters!

I am thankful for the Gospel which provides sound understanding in all things.

I am grateful for Nicholas, Tristan, Timothy, Victoria, Thomas, James, Matthew, and Daniel, my wonderful siblings that make this family special!

I am thankful for my mission, which gave me the opportunity to serve God's children in ways I never imagined. Ironically, I also gained more than I ever gave, being equipped with all the tools I need to make it through the craziness that is life.

I am thankful for my mission president and his wife for the invaluable support during my mission. While my mission was a special time, it was also very difficult. They also showed a love beyond words and were prime examples of disciples of Christ.

I am thankful for all the friends I made during my mission, both missionary and non-missionary. I am not perfect, and I am grateful you loved me anyways. Each of you will always have a special place in my heart!

I am thankful for my church congregation here, especially for a few choice members that make it a special time. I thank you especially Charmaine and Shaylee for making church something I looked forward to rather than anxious for.

I am grateful for my Good Friend. I wonder what God has in store for us...?

I am grateful for church, prayer, and the scriptures both ancient and modern; they provide the knowledge I need when the Spirit is with me, but especially when I am far from Him.

I am thankful for the doctrine of eternities. I know that through the Atonement of Christ that we have forever to look forward to! There is no good thing that will end. We will grow and learn now and forever more; we will be with our family, both immediate and in God, forever and ever.

There are so many other things I am grateful for, but these are of prime significance. I hope the attitude of gratitude may permeate throughout the day for each of us!

God bless you all,
Patrick

What is my attitude towards the gospel?

As I go through each day, attend church, reflect on my own devotion to Christ, and observe the testimonies of others, it is obvious that we do not all have the same attitude in our journey through life. There are obviously those that aren't trying in the slightest and really don't believe or don't care. But even within the believers, I notice that there are categories of different attitudes. The most apparent group consists of those that confidently strive to live the gospel and draw closer to their Father in Heaven. But there are two groups other than those, both of which are more subtle and not so easily identified.

One of these groups are those that are always trying to live the gospel, but always fall short. They question their conversion, which in turn questions their testimony. They do not easily feel the assurance from their Father in Heaven that they are on the right path; they scramble, trying to find their way to the light (which they fail to realize they already bask in). This set tends to grow without realizing it.

The second group is found on the other extreme. They put in little effort to live the gospel, feeling quite overly confident that they are acceptable to God. They do not need God's assurance (nor will they receive it), because they are already set on the idea that they are fine where they are at. This set fails to grow without realizing it.

I feel that I have been in each of these categories at different points in my life. Sometimes I neglect to progress, feeling comfortable with where I am; sometimes I scramble wherever I can, trying to find out why I am not living up to God's standards or what I am failing to do; and finally there are times where I clearly recognize that, while I still have much to fix, I am well on my way.

Sometimes our feelings lie to us, as is apparent in two of the three situations. Sometimes we may feel good, when we're not, and sometimes we may feel wicked, when we're not. To resolve this and gain a clear idea of where we stand in our devotion to God, I find questions such as these to help me out:

How would I describe my personal relationship with God? Do I strive to draw closer to Him?
What do my prayers mean to me?
What do the scriptures mean to me?
Am I consciously striving to develop Christlike attributes?
How do I feel towards my Savior? What has He done for me?
Do I seek the Spirit? How am I influenced by Him?
Do I attempt to magnify my calls to serve?
Do I strive to serve and be concerned for those around me (not just friends)?
What are my greatest desires?
Is God a permeating subject on my mind, or only someone I think of occasionally or when in need?

There are many more questions, but I feel this is a good start. Notice that these do not ask about position in congregations or focus on outward acts, for while it may be meaningful, these are not truly indicative of conversion; this may be the product of "social conversion" or other substitutes. In addition, not all of us will be "prominent", but God can be accessed by anyone, regardless of status.

For those of you trying so hard but feeling inadequate, consider your efforts to follow Christ. Realize that God is pleased with your heartfelt desire, even if your actions (appear to) fall short. As you see that you are trying to pray, trying to reach God, trying to love your neighbor, give yourself a break! Be kinder to yourself; give yourself more credit, for God loves the earnest soul that you have.

For those that are complacent, consider your answers to the questions as a gentle call to repentance. We all need to continuously practice the gospel, for perfection is our goal, and none will reach it in this life, so we must try as hard as we can to reach it. Besides, if we are not actively living the gospel, are we truly converted?

I pray that you consider the significance of your answers and adjust appropriately. God is ever-patient, and Christ will endow us with the needed strength to live as He would have us live.

God bless y'all!
Patrick

I WIll Rise!

I went to a most wonderful concert tonight. To say it was uplifting would not do it justice! But instead of my ramblings, just enjoy my favorite from the night (obviously this isn't the same as the choir at the concert, but it'll have to do).

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say, it is well

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagle's wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise, I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagle's wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise, I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing
Worthy is the Lamb
And I hear the cry of every longing heart
Worthy is the Lamb

And I hear the voice of many angels sing
Worthy is the Lamb
And I hear the cry of every longing heart
Worthy is the Lamb
(You are worthy, You are worthy)
Worthy is the Lamb

I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagle's wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise, I will rise, I will rise 

I add my testimony that every word, syllable, jot and tittle of this song is absolutely true. In Christ's name, amen. 

The Long Road Ahead

Tonight I had another experience which relates to yesterday's post. I figured it would make a nice follow-up.

When things are wrong, one of my favorite ways to cope is to go walking. Lately it's been snowing, so it's really cold outside, but today was particularly stressful, so I needed a break. After a church function tonight, I immediately left to go walking for a bit.

There is a biking/walking path in my neighborhood that runs along a former canal. It was somewhat late, so it was cold and dark. Nonetheless, I went on for 40 minutes before turning around, due to some sort of animal up ahead (I don't like things running around in the dark!). In that time, I found peace in venting to God.

I imagine, in cases like tonight, that God is like the parent that, no matter how angry, upset, or nasty you are to Him, ends up holding you the entire time. I feel sheepish, because who am I to get angry at Him? He has done nothing wrong. There isn't even anything I can blame on Him; the stress was my problem, and not His fault in the slightest. In spite of that, my Father listened. He listened to what His frustrated son had to say. He did not judge; He did not reprimand; He just listened, arms around His child's shoulders.

I don't know how far I walked. Probably not too far, considering the length of time I spent. But as I looked ahead, I didn't know where it would take me, but I felt that was where God wanted me to be. I kept walking, not sure how far I was going nor how much was left. Even though progress was difficult to measure, it was there nonetheless. There came a point where, looking back, I could not see how far I had went.

As we learn, grow, and become the sons and daughters of God, we may lose confidence and forget where we are. We aren't sure how far it is to our destination; we might not even be sure where our destination is. But God laid a path before us, and the path will take us where we need to go. While the end is out of sight, and we might not be sure what God's intentions are, we can rest assured that, as we stay on the path, we will get to where we need eventually.

Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th'encircling gloom,
Lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home,
Lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me.

When it was time to go home, my stress was manageable. It was so cold, but at a time that I felt nothing, His love warmed my heart. Maybe one of these days I will walk all the way to the end of that mysterious path.

Patrick

"More Patience in [Growing]"

This morning, I had the special opportunity to attend a convert baptism. It was quite an uplifting experience, both as a direct result of the baptism and in a few more personal ways.

One hymn we sang was "More Holiness Give Me," by Philip P. Bliss. Like many hymns, there are so many uniquely (excuse the oxymoron) special phrases in this piece, but I wish to focus on one in particular.

More patience in suff'ring.
 
While I am experiencing many trials, and this line is very applicable, this does not accurately display what I felt my prayer was. To illustrate more perfectly, I would read it as

More patience in [growing].

This is a more specific appeal that I wanted to make to my Father.

Before I left on my mission (I talk a lot about this, don't I?), I was a pretty carefree child. I didn't have many friends, so I was spared much of the drama teenagers have; I was active in my church, so nobody complained there; I am intelligent (don't mean to boast), so high school was very easy. When I went on my mission, my life was filled with worries and responsibilities, but none were for myself; they were all for others, whether it be my fellow missionary companions, those I taught the gospel, or others I was obliged to help. When I came home, I no longer had those responsibilities, but I grew up. As a result, I realized I have severely neglected my personal growth in many aspects; I have a lot of maturing to do.

This causes me grief. I am a structured person; I move on from one task to the next, or so I try. Coming home from my mission, I anticipated my next 3 main goals were to get married, get educated, and get a job. However, I ran into a brick wall when I saw I lacked the tools to progress. My mind was set; "Time to get married, Patrick!" "Time to go to school!" But those things are not so simple, and as a result of my choices, I am torn; torn between the determination to "move on to the next step" and the need to do some more growing up.

I did not anticipate this, and as such this has been very trying. As I said before, I always automatically jumped into the next step without much thought; but now, that is not happening. Instead of moving on into the next adventure, I am forced to wait.

Wait until when?

This has always been the hardest part of any trial for me; if I know how long I must endure something, I act accordingly and deal with it better. I also believe that, in this modern age of internet, communication, fast food, and so forth, we believe in instant gratification! Some of the greatest questions can be answered, albeit in a textbook manner, by typing it into the searchbar of an internet browser! But the trials God gives us rarely have a timetable for us to observe; rather, they are on His timetable. But how do I know when I am ready? How do I know that I am sufficiently mature to make the next decision?

Another difficult question is, "Am I really not ready, or am I just doubting myself?" I very well could be ready, but I allow fear and doubt to halt my progression. Maybe I am an adequate student; I just doubt my ability to do so. Maybe I am marriage material, and I just fail to see it.

How can I find answers to these questions?

For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do.

For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.

That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.

God has everything laid out for us. He knows what to do. His purpose is to bring about "the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). He is our Father in a literal sense. God knows our souls better than anyone else, even better than we know ourselves. That is why trials, when properly endured, are always the best possible thing we could have suffered.

It is also not meet that He gives us all understanding. For instance, if I search on Google for the purpose of life, I may find an answer, I may even find the right answer, but it will be a hollow answer. It will have no meaning. It is empty and useless. Knowledge is bestowed by those that know, but understanding is only gained through personal application. We cannot understand that which we did not discover ourselves; the path of understanding may be shown by one wiser, but we must walk that path ourselves.

However, in spite of being unable to give us understanding, God has given us tools to gain that understanding. God, first, gave us the Gospel; as we live the Gospel, we will gain a greater light on the meaning of life than we would through any other means! That I promise you. As we live by faith, we will see faith fulfilled and increased. As we repent, we understand the commandments. As we live God's law, we will be able to see exactly how living a godly life brings a perfect fulness of joy.

This understanding is gained at a rate contrary to the world, however. In the world today, everything is brought instantly. Nothing should be waited for. Everything should come immediately. Food, information, material items, all things do not have a significant delay. It takes less than a day to reach the other side of the world! But for things of the Spirit, for knowledge of greatest worth, we receive it "line upon line, precept upon precept; here a little, there a little." It is not gained instantly, but throughout the years of experience, trial, error, success, sorrow, pain, and joy.

To help us further, the Holy Ghost has been given to us. With His help, we can find understanding to answers outside our reach. Many of my earlier questions can be answered as I appeal unto Him. This is yet another process, however, that takes time and practice. All good things take time. Relationships, maturing, growth, knowledge... all of these things flourish as we labor in them.

So, I pray tonight for more patience in growing. I dream of the next steps in life often; however, I recognize a loving Father that wants me to enjoy all the blessings in store; God has promised me a life of discipleship, a beautiful marriage, a satisfying education, and a career adequate to support my family. But, I must wait patiently.

I am filled with uncertainty. However, I am confident that, in due time, I will be blessed with the righteous desires of my heart. And I witness to you that the same is true for all His children. For you.

God bless you!
Patrick

"That which ye suppose to be your right and liberty..."

Lachoneus, most noble and chief governor of the land, behold, I write this epistle unto you, and do give unto you exceedingly great praise because of your firmness, and also the firmness of your people, in maintaining that which ye suppose to be your right and liberty; yea, ye do stand well, as if ye were supported by the hand of a god, in the defence of your liberty, and your property, and your country, or that which ye do call so.

In the Book of Mormon, there is a battle described between two groups; the Nephites, a civilization that typically (though not always) strived to follow God, and the Gadiantons, a group of villains bent on enslaving others, using both externally forceful or internally political methods. At the time of the above passage, this was around 16-18 A.D. Lachoneus was the chief governer over the Nephites, and the leader of the Gadiantons, Giddianhi, wrote a letter proposing that the Nephites surrender and join their brotherhood, which was built on a foundation of lies, conspiracies, and murder. Giddianhi offers full fellowship, including all their resources being made available. The price? That the Gadiantons are placed in the government and they submit to their ideals (which were principally anti-theistic; they desired to implant a system where the wicked would go unpunished).

This doesn't sound like a bad deal. Get all the food you want, all the safety you want, and you could even (I assume) privately hold true to your beliefs, so long as you never discussed or preached them publicly, instead adhering to the state "religion" or ideology. There might even be some labor required, but you are provided and cared for, so what does it matter?

In the world today, as in times past, there is a group of righteous people that try to promote the ideals of God and common morality. They attempt to bring about liberty in its truest form to the best of their understanding. They do not care what the world has to say. This group has existed in a fair portion of history, and I would say at times this group was significantly big. But, this powerful band of disciples with these utmost priorities are growing smaller. Why is that?

It is not a lack of disciples; there are over 1 billion Christians, with over 14 million of them being Latter-day Saints. So there are plenty of people that at least identify a belief in Christ. So, with these large numbers, why are there so few that adamantly march forth with the Ensign to the Nations?

I feel that Giddianhi highlights a very significant idea that has corrupted society today, especially many would-be Christian Soldiers: "I... give unto you exceedingly great praise because of your firmness... in maintaining that which ye suppose to be your right and liberty." That which ye suppose to be your right and liberty! Notice the implications Giddianhi sneaked in there; while giving them (empty) praise, he throws a sharp blow at them, challenging their motives. He wanted them to doubt, perhaps even thinking, "Do we have a right to do this? Do we have a right to defend ourselves in the name of our God?"

In the world today, one of the greatest woes to befall America is the principle of Separation of Church and State. Now, I do not believe in a Theocracy, nor do I believe in government-mandated churches. But this ideal has been twisted to support the secular regime of the Devil to disarm the Saints of God. While in the not-too-distant past it was acceptable and valuable to promote a government that fostered Christian worship, now not only is it unacceptable, but to bring any sort of religion (or even "morals", for that matter) into politics nulls any argument you ever had. Nobody listens; they all cry, "Leave your religion out of this! We don't believe the same way you do! You have no right to make us do this!"

It is true that religion should not be imposed; that is contrary to the principle of agency, in my opinion the second most valuable gift of God (with the first being eternal life). But we have been misled into thinking that we should allow wickedness for the sake of "freedom"! In fact, government measures not only legalize wickedness, but they create more laws forcing everyone to accept these behaviors! Look at abortion; recently, Hobby Lobby attempted to reject the healthcare measures that forced them to offer contraceptions and the like. They were met with almost savage opposition.

Many have lost heart; many of Christ's disciples feel that they have no right to defend their religion. But they are so wrong; not only do we have the right to defend their religion, but the world risks falling into an atheist or perhaps Satanic dictatorship if we submit. Don't believe me? It already is in progress.

So, like Giddianhi, many atheists, secularists, and misguided souls assault any attempt to promote righteousness, screaming that it was only "that which [we] suppose[d] to be [our] right and liberty..." They yell that we cannot force our beliefs on them. They shout that we are the wicked ones, full of indoctrinations. But it is not something we suppose; if we have a firm testimony of the Gospel, we will recognize not only it is our right to preach the Gospel in both religious and political fields, but it is our duty.

God bless y'all!
Patrick